"When are you going to start your family?" She asked.
"How many children is too much?" They question.
Well, I don't know.
Or,
I didn't. This week is questioned about how many children SHOULD you have. Another question is SHOULD I have children? As someone who is going into the field of marriage as a life career, shouldn't I know these questions?
Here is a quote to start us off, to think about this in a deeper level. President Brigam Young, a previous prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, once said,
"There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?—To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can."
Now, what does this have to do with ANYTHING?! It has to do with everything. When I bring a child into this world, I want it to be in the home of a family who can support, cherish, love, and care for this child. Now, imagine if you were suppose to have a child, but choose not to, what happens to this child? Could this child potentially go to another family? Now, what if this family is a family where abuse in the home?
This thought of the potential future child of mine going to a home, and being attacked because I chose not to have him or her, freaked me out. While understanding this, it helped me understand that I need to prepare now, and begin to have a home, and be the best person I can, so that when I do have children, they will come into that loving home they are in need of.
The fact is, almost every country is "downsizing" you could say. What I mean is, on average, a person has no more than 2.5 children in nearly every country. Now, my father is from four children, my family has five children, my mother is from seven, and my grandfather is out of sixteen (I think we are the reason the average is so high). I could never picture life without my large family, it seems crazy to me because of the happiness brought, and will bring. Why is this though? Why is the average so low?
In my family class we learn quickly how many people really do want large families! It is a dream of theirs, but they will not have it. Why? Because it is not a "trend" to have that many, it is not socially accepted in many cultures. In fact, most countries in Europe, are decreasing in births. In order to populate, at the same amount we are today, you have to "replace" you and the person who made the child. So, each couple has to have two children or more to repopulate or have the world grow. Without doing so, we actually face problems of no replacements in the work field, social security, and not to mention the growth people receive by choosing to have a child.
Now, I am not saying their are never instances that a child cannot be born into a family, because I totally get that, I am saying though, if you are in a loving, caring environment, personally, I do know I will have many children, the love I have for these future kids already is unimaginable, I can't comprehend what it will feel like when I do have children.
PLEASE comment what you think! I would love to here from people I do and do not know!
REMINDER! You can Always post anonymous if you do not want me or others to know who wrote it!
McKayla -- I love so much seeing how the little you has grown. I still sometimes think of you as my little 11 year old McKayla, and it is so cool to see how much you've grown and learned and become your own person with your own certainties since then. I hope so much my own girls will follow paths similar to yours.
ReplyDeleteAs for this baby business, I don't claim to know why our experiences here are so different -- why some desperately want kids and can't have them, while others (like myself) can easily have them with not even pregnancy itself being much trouble. And, to be honest, I don't claim to have any idea what anyone else's plan is here or what their family should be. BUT, I didn't arrive at a family this big just by chance. My plan was never to just simply "let 'em come" (though I have respect for people who decide that, too); we have gotten here by really praying to know what our plan is and, as we've done so, we've had some overwhelming and hard, but undeniably strong answers not just that our family wasn't complete at earlier numbers, but that Heavenly Father really honestly did have a plan for us. For me. For Mike. For our kids. And, it wasn't just HIS plan, it was ours -- it was the one we actually prepared for and wanted before we came here. The fact that the veil clouded our vision and made it hard to choose some of the things that were part of it (and so necessitated divine answers from above) didn't change it. It has been really beautiful for me to discover that these later children of mine aren't just random spirits, but individuals who were counting on me and who I had made promises to (and nearly forgotten). I love that you are so open to children. I'm sure there are spirits who are waiting to come to you who are so relieved that you plan on letting them. As my own kids get ready to marry and start families, I won't tell them numbers of anything because I have no idea, but I will encourage them to absolutely let the Lord be part of that decision. There can't be any part of life that would matter more to involve him in than in knowing how to go about something as huge as a family!! Love you!
Nancy I LOVE your comment because when I think of a family I would like to be like, it is yours! Your family really does inspire me! Though I am only twenty, and I don't know the amount of kids I will have, your family has shown me that with Heavenly Father, you can do anything! Praying truly does help decide how many kids you should have. Thank you for this comment because I really think you said this by far the best way possible!
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